Reading, writing, Netflix watching;
Washing, sorting, drying, folding;
Napping, dozing, waking, sleeping;
Eating, snacking, lethargic laying;
Walking, bouncing, going crazy;
Gaming, skulking, eyelid gazing;
Posting, sharing, facebook liking;
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Throwing; chasing, puppy playing;
Stewing, brewing, but not cooking;
Washing, cleaning; am I breathing?
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Two more months of this, by the way. Months more of not going, not doing, not paying, not playing, not saving, not progressing. Only fermenting and rotting away in a shell of a place that I long to be free of...Yet others stay and are satisfied and here I am caught between a rock and a stone and a ledge and a hard place, and I must be upside down, inside out, backwards--I don't know which way to move. I cannot move, it seems, at all. Nothing new, nothing old, nothing helpful, nothing sold. Desperation is a cancer that wards off all others and keeps the little man down. And here I am, in the midst of summer with no tan, no release, and no escape. What a challenge. What a waste.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
#63--Payback
You know what? Here's my American Dream. I put it on this platter for all to see and criticize. And I take that criticism and I apply it when necessary. But I am tired of you shitting on my dream. If this is how you see me and my efforts then screw you. You want to push your citizens to do well and to have an education and this and that and here you prevent them from accomplishing that goal. You're just a hypocritical bastard, giving a command which we bust our ass to complete, and then you just shrug when we need assistance from you. Screw you. You can have my American Dream. I don't need it anymore.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
#62--Influences
Before I jump in, just let me point out that the title of this post is pretty random, as I'll be discussing multiple things.
First, I'd like to say that I've recently been accepted to a journal for publication! Woo! My poem "Blueberry Muffins" will be in the Fall edition of Quivira this year. SO excited.
Otherwise, I've been doing a lot more reading, though it still isn't as much as I'd like it to be. I suppose I should allot days for reading and others for writing. Maybe I could also effectively find a way to split the days between reading, writing, and organizing the house. We'll see.
Recently I finished Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, which will require re-reads since it is a text I'm studying for my thesis. I am currently reading Dr. Moledinky's Castle (a young adult novel), Swim, and I have yet to begin on The Island of Dr. Moreau (which will likely also be for my thesis).
Yesterday I wrote about Ray Bradbury's death and I may or may not have mentioned how I was looking for a copy of The Illustrated Man. However, I totally have a copy in a three-work anthology of Bradbury's, which we recently purchased at Barnes & Noble. Also included are The Martian Chronicles and The Golden Apples of the Sun. You can't know how excited I am that I have a copy of TIM, since it seems like it would be extremely helpful for my thesis.
And since I'm writing a creative thesis, I'll have to have short stories to go along with the research I do. It looks like I've got some good amounts of reading ahead of me, so I shall make the rest of this brief.
I am also currently reading Jenny Lawson's Let's Pretend This Never Happened. If you haven't heard of it or read it yet, you need to. It is funny and serious and astounding and entirely relate-able. It is definitely a book that opens your eyes to a different kind of world. Now that I mention this book, I should probably find it and finish the darn thing. If I remember correctly, I am pretty near the end.
In any case, I'm off to indulge in thesis readings! Ciao!
First, I'd like to say that I've recently been accepted to a journal for publication! Woo! My poem "Blueberry Muffins" will be in the Fall edition of Quivira this year. SO excited.
Otherwise, I've been doing a lot more reading, though it still isn't as much as I'd like it to be. I suppose I should allot days for reading and others for writing. Maybe I could also effectively find a way to split the days between reading, writing, and organizing the house. We'll see.
Recently I finished Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, which will require re-reads since it is a text I'm studying for my thesis. I am currently reading Dr. Moledinky's Castle (a young adult novel), Swim, and I have yet to begin on The Island of Dr. Moreau (which will likely also be for my thesis).
Yesterday I wrote about Ray Bradbury's death and I may or may not have mentioned how I was looking for a copy of The Illustrated Man. However, I totally have a copy in a three-work anthology of Bradbury's, which we recently purchased at Barnes & Noble. Also included are The Martian Chronicles and The Golden Apples of the Sun. You can't know how excited I am that I have a copy of TIM, since it seems like it would be extremely helpful for my thesis.
And since I'm writing a creative thesis, I'll have to have short stories to go along with the research I do. It looks like I've got some good amounts of reading ahead of me, so I shall make the rest of this brief.
I am also currently reading Jenny Lawson's Let's Pretend This Never Happened. If you haven't heard of it or read it yet, you need to. It is funny and serious and astounding and entirely relate-able. It is definitely a book that opens your eyes to a different kind of world. Now that I mention this book, I should probably find it and finish the darn thing. If I remember correctly, I am pretty near the end.
In any case, I'm off to indulge in thesis readings! Ciao!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
#61--Ray Bradbury, Icon
Today it was all over the news that Mr. Ray Bradbury had died. I am quite sad that he has passed, and he will be missed. Yet he will live on and continue to inspire and influence others through his writings, as well as his work on tv shows, tv films & more.
I am sad that I did not get to meet him before his passing. Of course, everyone wants to get to meet a celebrity, usually just to hold it over the heads of everyone else that didn't get to. However, all I would want to do is talk about stories and projects and character design.
I think a lot of celebrities assume that all we want is a shot at money and fame when we oogle them, but really all I'm after is intelligent and enthusiastic conversation. We could talk about bumblebees for all I care, as long as I get the chance to talk to those people that inspire me to do good work--the work I want to do with my life. Because really truly, there is no point in doing anything that you dislike.
The beginning of my list of people I-would-like-to-meet-maybe-for-lunch-or-something:
Betty White
Tim Burton
Johnny Depp
Emma Thompson
Will Ferrell
Jim Dale
Tanith Lee
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
Jenny Lawson
Elizabeth Kostova
Gregory Maguire
Kenneth Branagh
Dame Maggie Smith
Unfortunately, the majority of my favorite authors are already dead, having been deceased long before my grandparents were even twinkles in their parents' eyes. This list may also be revised later, when I remember someone that I cannot now think to add. Either way, it would be lovely to meet with these folks at some point, before the cruel grip of death takes us all away.
I am sad that I did not get to meet him before his passing. Of course, everyone wants to get to meet a celebrity, usually just to hold it over the heads of everyone else that didn't get to. However, all I would want to do is talk about stories and projects and character design.
I think a lot of celebrities assume that all we want is a shot at money and fame when we oogle them, but really all I'm after is intelligent and enthusiastic conversation. We could talk about bumblebees for all I care, as long as I get the chance to talk to those people that inspire me to do good work--the work I want to do with my life. Because really truly, there is no point in doing anything that you dislike.
The beginning of my list of people I-would-like-to-meet-maybe-for-lunch-or-something:
Betty White
Tim Burton
Johnny Depp
Emma Thompson
Will Ferrell
Jim Dale
Tanith Lee
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
Jenny Lawson
Elizabeth Kostova
Gregory Maguire
Kenneth Branagh
Dame Maggie Smith
Unfortunately, the majority of my favorite authors are already dead, having been deceased long before my grandparents were even twinkles in their parents' eyes. This list may also be revised later, when I remember someone that I cannot now think to add. Either way, it would be lovely to meet with these folks at some point, before the cruel grip of death takes us all away.
#60--Audience
Does anyone read this blog?
Who cares, right? There are too many people in the world for only one person to make a difference. Right?
Don't take this the wrong way--it is only an observation. I'm not going to off myself or anything. I'm too chicken for that.
But really, it doesn't matter what I say here because I think only one or two people read this on a regular basis. I could say something crazy like "I got a tattoo on my left butt cheek of Obama's face," and I bet no one I know would say anything to me about it. Now the question is, did I really do that?
There are a lot of things you can do if you think no one is watching. It goes back to that question: If a tree falls in a forest, does it still make a sound? I probably got that wrong. I feel like I left out a crucial detail. It's like crying in the rain--no one can tell if its raindrops or tears on your face and no one asks about your face being all red and poofy because the rain makes for dim lighting, and even if you were asked about your face you could always blame it on allergies or pink eye. And then no one asks you any more questions and you are free to continue crying in the rain, probably alone.
Since I have no audience it doesn't matter how I end this post either, so really I could do it like this
Who cares, right? There are too many people in the world for only one person to make a difference. Right?
Don't take this the wrong way--it is only an observation. I'm not going to off myself or anything. I'm too chicken for that.
But really, it doesn't matter what I say here because I think only one or two people read this on a regular basis. I could say something crazy like "I got a tattoo on my left butt cheek of Obama's face," and I bet no one I know would say anything to me about it. Now the question is, did I really do that?
There are a lot of things you can do if you think no one is watching. It goes back to that question: If a tree falls in a forest, does it still make a sound? I probably got that wrong. I feel like I left out a crucial detail. It's like crying in the rain--no one can tell if its raindrops or tears on your face and no one asks about your face being all red and poofy because the rain makes for dim lighting, and even if you were asked about your face you could always blame it on allergies or pink eye. And then no one asks you any more questions and you are free to continue crying in the rain, probably alone.
Since I have no audience it doesn't matter how I end this post either, so really I could do it like this
Monday, June 4, 2012
#59--Stress
Who isn't stressed?
But honestly, stress sucks. And I've had more than enough lately. I was grumpy today for no real reason that I could think of. I was okay with the sprinkly rain and with moving at a more relaxed pace, but I suppose the latter just wasn't in the cards. I'm tired. Tired of so many things and just wanting other issues to be solved. It can all be overcome, it is just a process of getting to that point that is nerve-wracking and stress-inducing and I can't shake the glumness that is put on me as a result. I think today was just destined to be that day.
It didn't help that I relieve stress sometimes via a game on my phone (Jewels, or Bejeweled, or whatever it is called) which was dead practically all weekend. Oh well. Now I've got it charging again and that's all that matters really. I should really find other ways to relieve stress than relying on an electronic game. I should also find a different method for time keeping. Or I suppose I could give that up entirely. Well, maybe not all the way. Maybe I could just care less about what time it is as long as I am moving forward and making progress on my goals that I have. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.
For now, I am too tired to continue to write anything else that is either relevant or coherent so I'm done for now. And no, I won't be reading Frankenstein before bed as I'm too tired and too preoccupied to really focus on the language. I love you Mary Shelley, but dang girl. You gotta let up on your reader sometimes.
Until the next blip--
But honestly, stress sucks. And I've had more than enough lately. I was grumpy today for no real reason that I could think of. I was okay with the sprinkly rain and with moving at a more relaxed pace, but I suppose the latter just wasn't in the cards. I'm tired. Tired of so many things and just wanting other issues to be solved. It can all be overcome, it is just a process of getting to that point that is nerve-wracking and stress-inducing and I can't shake the glumness that is put on me as a result. I think today was just destined to be that day.
It didn't help that I relieve stress sometimes via a game on my phone (Jewels, or Bejeweled, or whatever it is called) which was dead practically all weekend. Oh well. Now I've got it charging again and that's all that matters really. I should really find other ways to relieve stress than relying on an electronic game. I should also find a different method for time keeping. Or I suppose I could give that up entirely. Well, maybe not all the way. Maybe I could just care less about what time it is as long as I am moving forward and making progress on my goals that I have. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.
For now, I am too tired to continue to write anything else that is either relevant or coherent so I'm done for now. And no, I won't be reading Frankenstein before bed as I'm too tired and too preoccupied to really focus on the language. I love you Mary Shelley, but dang girl. You gotta let up on your reader sometimes.
Until the next blip--
Saturday, June 2, 2012
#58--Six Months Later
So as it turns out, I never update this thing, and friends like Jason get upset because I haven't been posting all semester. For this I apologize sincerely. Spring was a very busy time for me, what with graduate school and all. I met new people, learned to leave things in the past, and generally speaking had a good spring semester. I did great in my classes and my classes that I taught did pretty well too. Most recently, I have attended graduation and celebrated with friends, congratulated others on jobs they've accepted, and mainly been working on various projects I have for myself this summer.
I have been intending to work on my thesis over this summer, and I suppose you can say I've been making progress as far as that goes. I've been reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, which is the main literature I'm focusing on for my thesis. I have learned that I shouldn't read it before I sleep, not because it is scary (which it isn't, exactly) but because I end up having really WEIRD dreams afterwards. I am mostly done with it now even though I'll end up re-reading it several times. This particular story is also a prime example of (again) how movies and different interpretations of a piece of work cannot be trusted. People might say that books aren't important, but without them, no one would know the full story as it was originally written.
I've dyed my hair a couple of times this year to attempt a darker hair color overall. I like the darker colors, but it fades more quickly than I'd like for it to. (Random)
I realize that I don't care about my transitions as I write this post and I guess that's okay. Because really, who needs transitions in informal writing anyway? I think I am just tired of writing infrequently on this thing, and then ending up writing summaries of my life for the last several months or year. I think this summer will be difficult since I'm broke, but it does allow a lot of opportunity and time to work on those things that I want to achieve.
So I mentioned my thesis already but I didn't give the topic and that's okay too because I'm slightly paranoid about people stealing my ideas. Having influences is one thing, but I'd rather not set myself up for a hassle later if I can avoid it. I'd rather keep some of these awesome ideas to myself so that I might actually craft them into the gloriousness that I know I can make them. And this tells me that "gloriousness" is spelled incorrectly, but what does blogspot know? It even says that blogspot is incorrect. Whatever.
Another project I have is more along the creative lines, and that's going to stay on the down-low until I have more to present. Not only that but I'd like to emphasize my slight paranoia at this point. I suppose though that it isn't so much me worrying about my ideas being used by others as having too much initial feedback and people's opinions interfering with what I'm trying to do. I understand that I am not the Almighty Writer, but I can pretend at least until I'm done and thus not have to worry about what other people think.
I had intended to go through all of my music files and organize them, which I successfully accomplished this week! Hooray completed goals! Now I just have to put everything back into iTunes and then double check my files with the cds that I have to make sure I didn't miss anything. After that I'll be able to update my iPad with new songs and I won't have to listen to the same old music anytime Alex & I decide to go anywhere. I already know that I lost my Supertramp files that were on my computer, but I still have the disc so that will be the first thing that I re-save to my computer, whenever I get around to putting all those cds worth of music on... which will likely be next week at the earliest. I don't see myself getting to that before Tuesday.
Today though, Alex had the day off, and between numerous phone calls and visits to our house by the landlord, etc., it was a long day. However, we did get some down-time in the afternoon when all we did was sit and enjoy each other's company...as we both played on our individual laptops. Alex stumbled and I played Sims on Facebook, because I'm ultra classy like that.
It was too bad though that it was cold and rainy today, because it would have been nice to go on a long walk with Alex and the dogs. Perhaps that will have to be another day. It doesn't help that the light bulb in our living room burned out and we have to use the table lamps (gasp! first-world problem) so that makes it pretty dark in the living room. Oh well. Not like it matters much.
Otherwise, the summer shall be interesting and promises lots of visits among friends and lots of time management opportunities in balancing social aspects and projects. (I also need to organize all my files from this last year, including textbooks and supplies that I can use again next year). I am okay with striking this balance though, as it will be crucial to get into a sort of routine so that I can actually accomplish that which I have listed out for myself. Thesis and the other writing project (previously alluded to) are both large projects, and the filing project will take at least a day or two, depending on my level of sloth. However, I feel like I can accomplish quite a bit this summer... I just have to do it.
In any case, this week has been unexpectedly hectic yet fun, and I anticipate next week to be .... much calmer. I am hoping also to submit some work to various journals (which will require research unless anyone has any current ideas?) and contests. Publication is what it is all about.
On a final note for today, it is late and we're going to Buzz Beach Ball tomorrow with friends so we will have an early start. Ciao!
I have been intending to work on my thesis over this summer, and I suppose you can say I've been making progress as far as that goes. I've been reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, which is the main literature I'm focusing on for my thesis. I have learned that I shouldn't read it before I sleep, not because it is scary (which it isn't, exactly) but because I end up having really WEIRD dreams afterwards. I am mostly done with it now even though I'll end up re-reading it several times. This particular story is also a prime example of (again) how movies and different interpretations of a piece of work cannot be trusted. People might say that books aren't important, but without them, no one would know the full story as it was originally written.
I've dyed my hair a couple of times this year to attempt a darker hair color overall. I like the darker colors, but it fades more quickly than I'd like for it to. (Random)
I realize that I don't care about my transitions as I write this post and I guess that's okay. Because really, who needs transitions in informal writing anyway? I think I am just tired of writing infrequently on this thing, and then ending up writing summaries of my life for the last several months or year. I think this summer will be difficult since I'm broke, but it does allow a lot of opportunity and time to work on those things that I want to achieve.
So I mentioned my thesis already but I didn't give the topic and that's okay too because I'm slightly paranoid about people stealing my ideas. Having influences is one thing, but I'd rather not set myself up for a hassle later if I can avoid it. I'd rather keep some of these awesome ideas to myself so that I might actually craft them into the gloriousness that I know I can make them. And this tells me that "gloriousness" is spelled incorrectly, but what does blogspot know? It even says that blogspot is incorrect. Whatever.
Another project I have is more along the creative lines, and that's going to stay on the down-low until I have more to present. Not only that but I'd like to emphasize my slight paranoia at this point. I suppose though that it isn't so much me worrying about my ideas being used by others as having too much initial feedback and people's opinions interfering with what I'm trying to do. I understand that I am not the Almighty Writer, but I can pretend at least until I'm done and thus not have to worry about what other people think.
I had intended to go through all of my music files and organize them, which I successfully accomplished this week! Hooray completed goals! Now I just have to put everything back into iTunes and then double check my files with the cds that I have to make sure I didn't miss anything. After that I'll be able to update my iPad with new songs and I won't have to listen to the same old music anytime Alex & I decide to go anywhere. I already know that I lost my Supertramp files that were on my computer, but I still have the disc so that will be the first thing that I re-save to my computer, whenever I get around to putting all those cds worth of music on... which will likely be next week at the earliest. I don't see myself getting to that before Tuesday.
Today though, Alex had the day off, and between numerous phone calls and visits to our house by the landlord, etc., it was a long day. However, we did get some down-time in the afternoon when all we did was sit and enjoy each other's company...as we both played on our individual laptops. Alex stumbled and I played Sims on Facebook, because I'm ultra classy like that.
It was too bad though that it was cold and rainy today, because it would have been nice to go on a long walk with Alex and the dogs. Perhaps that will have to be another day. It doesn't help that the light bulb in our living room burned out and we have to use the table lamps (gasp! first-world problem) so that makes it pretty dark in the living room. Oh well. Not like it matters much.
Otherwise, the summer shall be interesting and promises lots of visits among friends and lots of time management opportunities in balancing social aspects and projects. (I also need to organize all my files from this last year, including textbooks and supplies that I can use again next year). I am okay with striking this balance though, as it will be crucial to get into a sort of routine so that I can actually accomplish that which I have listed out for myself. Thesis and the other writing project (previously alluded to) are both large projects, and the filing project will take at least a day or two, depending on my level of sloth. However, I feel like I can accomplish quite a bit this summer... I just have to do it.
In any case, this week has been unexpectedly hectic yet fun, and I anticipate next week to be .... much calmer. I am hoping also to submit some work to various journals (which will require research unless anyone has any current ideas?) and contests. Publication is what it is all about.
On a final note for today, it is late and we're going to Buzz Beach Ball tomorrow with friends so we will have an early start. Ciao!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)