#50--Dreams and Money; The Money of My Dreams

Each dream is a hidden desire, a passion within me that I do not actively recognize.
There is some sort of truth about them--they say things about me that I would not admit to be true,
or at least not to your face.

But dream I do, and dream I have,
And for all those things that I dream and deny,
I cannot pretend or cover them all.

I am lucky to remember that which I dream,
Just like I am lucky to dream at all.
And in my heart I know that they should lead me to some part of myself that is hidden.

And a million and one questions rise up out of the gloom of my subconscious,
Unconscious,
And I find the questions are more numerous than my answers.

I feel that will always be the case.

Sometimes my wish is to dream, and I do not;
Other times I do not expect it and then I do.
It is quite hard coming back from those alternate realities that can seem almost better than the dawning of the day

But I have to remember that while I may be a different girl in my mind,
the one I am out here needs sustenance too,
And I cannot abandon her.

So the girl I dream of being, dream that I am,
she travels from my mind to my hand to the paper and lives;
She lives for so long that she is a legend, a myth--
A dream.

And so she comes full cycle,
taking pride in her effortless work
While I am breaking my back and my bank just to live,
Just to have food and shelter and a smile on my face.

The dreams that I dream and the girl within, they fade
into myth and legend and dream;
and I wonder if I will get to fulfill the same things as she.