Sunday, December 19, 2010

#26--The Anguish Tree and Failed Fudge

It's been eventful lately.

Last week I helped Grace set up "The Village" at her mom's house, that is a yearly tradition for them. The story goes something like, "A prosperous medieval town that lies between two mountain ranges has a grim secret: The Tree of Anguish. The people in The Village have to trek halfway up the tallest mountain to pay visits to the Tree of Anguish, or their souls will suffer and as a result, the town will die. So up the mountain they go, to confess their sins on scrolls which are then "sacrificed" to the tree. The tree takes on all the ugliness of the villagers in order to spare them (which is totally in the spirit of the season, since Jesus died for our sins. The fact that the plant we've used to represent the tree is a Crown of Thorns is mere happy coincidence). Higher up on the mountain lives a beast which kills villagers who wander too far into his realm. The beast is called "dragon" but appears differently to those who witness it. This dragon belongs to Santa, because wimpy little reindeer can't actually fly or eat enough "magic carrots" to stay afloat long enough. Let's just admit now that the carrots are actually shrooms and get it over with. (lol). So the dragon who lives on the highest peak is in charge of pulling Santa's sleigh, which is why there is always so much ruckus when Santa lands on the roof and why millions of people across the world are forced to re-shingle, re-thatch, or completely rebuild their homes each year in December. The dragon does benefit Santa and the chimney bit though; the dragon is like a put-outer from HP, pulling the fire into his throat so Santa can enter the house at no risk, and putting the fire back on the logs when Santa has returned to the roof. Not to mention that the dragon is much faster than the deer, thus saving Santa time on his world-wide flight. (I forgot to mention the carol-singing pagans that live in the woods and on the slopes of the mountains, and while they are an important aspect of the forest itself, they are also a main snack source for the dragon when he's bored, and a good safeguard for the dragon to prevent hunters from wandering too far into his midst. Basically, the dragon is a pimp, and the singing pagans are the ho-ho-hos.)

The next step for the village with the dragon and the Anguish Tree comes when Grace's brother finds a way to destroy the town, wreaking havoc upon all who live there and their happy little lives. I honestly cannot wait for this to occur, as I imagine it will be eggy possum. Ha, you don't know what I'm saying.

One day I tried to make fudge. I failed miserably and instead made a flagstone for the driveway. This morning I tried again, and to my ultimate delight I succeeded! It's delicious, in case you were wondering.

Yesterday we went to my cousin's house for their Christmas party, and it was fun. However, nothing kills a party like children vomiting after after-dinner wrestling with Uncle Tony. So one kid threw up, okay, no worries, I'm good. But when the second one threw up and was moving forward at the same time (right behind me) I had had enough and leapt up with much force and fear. And shuddering.

And it was gross.

Then after we went home from that we went to see TRON which was freaking fantastic!!!! I don't care what all you critics say, it was way awesome and was not slow or overbearing or anything like that, so shut up. Silly critics.

And so today I got up and made fudge and went to Grandma's house for HER Christmas party and that was cool too. No vomiting this time, but Tracy did take a nap due to not feeling well in her nose and throat.

After that party, we went to Alex's mom's house and now we're chillin. Well, some of us are.

Did I mention that the wedding photos are back? Cuz they are. And they're awesome. And I love them.

This is all.


  1. That flagstone was delicious, so whatevs! A.J. has yet to give The Village his special alteration, but it's apparently going to be big - this the first year he's actually bought something to change it. I'm a little afraid. Thanks for helping me and I'm glad you had fun in Emporia and everywhere else!

  2. he BOUGHT something? this is mind boggling. I suppose it will be quite grandiose. I really feel like I should be there when he wreaks havoc, so i can retaliate. lol. fun times!