Sunday, June 10, 2012

#64--What now?

Reading, writing, Netflix watching;
Washing, sorting, drying, folding;
Napping, dozing, waking, sleeping;
Eating, snacking, lethargic laying;
Walking, bouncing, going crazy;
Gaming, skulking, eyelid gazing;
Posting, sharing, facebook liking;

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Throwing; chasing, puppy playing;
Stewing, brewing, but not cooking;
Washing, cleaning; am I breathing?

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Two more months of this, by the way. Months more of not going, not doing, not paying, not playing, not saving, not progressing. Only fermenting and rotting away in a shell of a place that I long to be free of...Yet others stay and are satisfied and here I am caught between a rock and a stone and a ledge and a hard place, and I must be upside down, inside out, backwards--I don't know which way to move. I cannot move, it seems, at all. Nothing new, nothing old, nothing helpful, nothing sold. Desperation is a cancer that wards off all others and keeps the little man down. And here I am, in the midst of summer with no tan, no release, and no escape. What a challenge. What a waste.

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