#45--Summertime

I feel that I am often neglecting my blog, and for that I am disappointed in myself. However, life sometimes dictates that the time you want to spend writing on your blog should really be spent doing other things, like working or being with family.

Recently, I have purchased a new car: Dodge Caliber. It is very nice. There seems to be an issue with how it drives (more recently than when I bought it) and so I am taking it in tomorrow for servicing. I am hoping that it will not take the entire day, so that I might still be able to get some packing done and get some items moved tomorrow.

Speaking of moving and packing, I have been accepted to graduate school for the fall, and I am very excited. I am still waiting to hear about whether or not I will have the teaching assistantship position, but I really hope I get that too, because that will save me a lot of loan money. Since I have been accepted, moving is what we are focusing on now. Moving is alright, but I'd rather that we could get it all done in a day or so instead of taking a week to do it all, and that it wasn't so expensive to get everything from one place to another.

On another note, the dogs are sick. We think they ate something particularly nasty over the weekend when they stayed with my in-laws. I am hoping that they both recover soon, because constantly cleaning is a hassle, and also because I just want them to feel better.

About a week ago (a little more than) my father-in-law had a heart attack and had to have quadruple bypass surgery. He came home Sunday, and is glad to be home. He is doing very well also, even though many of us were fairly frightened with everything when it was happening. It has made me look at the things in my life that are important, and start thinking a little differently about the world.

It seems there are certain places where people really bond, regardless of race or creed. One of those places is a hospital waiting room. Stereotypical? Maybe. But it is true: everyone in that waiting room has something on their mind, and usually when people in waiting rooms talk, they display thoughts and feelings of sympathy to the others they are communicating with. Now if we were to apply that to everything else we do, we might have a better understanding of foreign affairs, issues within a community, etc. If I took a moment to think that the guy who cut me off on the highway might be rushing home to help his ailing wife, I might think twice about throwing the bird or honking my horn. If we thought about the person who is rude to the waitress at the next table might have lost a family pet or may have been fired from his job of 34 years, maybe we would think twice before we labeled that person as a jerk. I realize there are a lot of "ifs" and "maybes" here, but when you think about it, in the end you are not angry at the person, and instead try to rationalize their actions, and ultimately, sympathize with them for their unknown situation. And at the end of the day, you can say to yourself that instead of making that person's day worse, and instead of being upset that they cut you off in the first place, you can understand that you allowed that person to get where they are going, without causing a greater chance of recklessness. I also understand that not everyone always has something to rush home to, emergency or otherwise, and that people do tend to be jerks when they drive or eat out. I am not excusing those people from being jerks. What I am trying to say is, if we took a moment to smile, or say hi, or comprehend their situation, then we would probably make their day a lot better. A smile is always more welcome than a frown and a nasty middle finger.

Who couldn't use an extra jolt of happiness or kindness in their life? 

#44--Easter Weekend

I have been kind of bummed that I have to work all this weekend and so will not be able to be with family for Easter celebrations. At the same time, I am glad for the work and the income it supplies me with.

But what makes it all better is what my husband told me today:

"Since we've been married, I've fallen more in love with you."

I can't stop grinning.

<3

#43--What a Long Time!

My it has been awhile!

This post will be brief since I have jammed my finger well enough to make typing painful.

I have recently applied to graduate school (YAY!) and I should be hearing back about that this week or next. Hopefully soon, though.

Also, a new job has helped me and my husband get through some tough financial spots, but that does not mean that we are completely in the clear. Things seem to be getting better though. :)

In the meantime Alex has been making pizzas, and I've been having dreams that inspire story writing and campaign creations for D&D. Yes, I am a nerd like that. I am looking forward to playing in the dungeon-esque basement I will soon have, as well as completing the current campaign we are on.

Lately I have also taken up disc golf and tennis, as purely recreational physical activities and by no means am I competing in them, or even necessarily playing by the rules. In case you're wondering, this is not how I jammed my finger. I can't wait til the pool opens/the weather is nice enough to where we can play tennis every day.

Outside of that I have some projects I am working on, which are slow-paced at the moment. I intend to pick up on them more over the summer, between working, moving, and visiting old friends. Sounds like I'm not going to have a lot of time to do much else.

Hooray for busy times, and for good friends and family. Until next time, Happy Easter!

#42--St. Patrick's Day

Today and the last couple of days have been beautiful outside and I have been so excited about the lovely weather. I've been able to take the dogs to the park and let them run around for awhile, and we've also been able to go play tennis after the guys get home from work.

A small note here: unemployment sucks.

On to other things: I can't wait for even more warm weather, for the pool to open and for more grilling opportunities. I'm starting to get back into my writing, which I had put aside for a long time as a result of a temporary position as assistant editor and a then continuing job hunt. So as I said, I'm back into my writing, going slowly since I've been away for so long.

There is not much else to report here outside of the meeting I have tomorrow with ESU's career services. Hopefully that will really help me with finding a job or going back to school in the fall. Either way, more news to come.

#41--Pi(e) Day & Rejuvenation

Today Alex and I bought a new washer and dryer, since our dryer basically burned itself out (taking some clothing with it that could not be repaired. :( Bummer. But the new machines will be here tomorrow afternoon, and I am glad for it.

Also today I had an interview that went very well indeed, and so I hope to hear back about that tomorrow or Wednesday. :D That hopefully will be GREAT  hours and decent pay, and of course benefits.

And today is Pi Day (3.14) which we typically celebrate around here by indulging in a meal strictly consisting of various kinds of pie. This year we were not able to have an official Pi(e) Day, so I may surprise peeps this weekend with a slew of pies. Maybe. This mainly depends on what the job situation is by this weekend for me. We shall see. 

**** In Other News ****

So lately I've been thinking. Reassessing my educational choices. What I mean is, I'm thinking about going back to school.

The thing is, I am not entirely sure *what* I want to go back to school for. I am very much interested in the human condition, helping others, psychology, history, sociology, and so forth. At the same time, I still want to be writing novels (and I am still working on my personal writing). Many things will require a master's degree, which is fine, and should only take about two years. The only thing is deciding what I want to do. I suppose this decision is not necessarily a tough one but I want to be extra sure of my goal before I even look at schools to apply to.

I've been able to help people before, and I feel like I have a talent for helping others. With as much as I love children and with so much compassion that I feel I hold for others (yes, sometimes I am quite short with people, but I think everyone is subject to that sometimes) I think that a career in social work would not be out of the question for me.

But is it what I *want* to do? I know that I am the only one that can answer this question. I want to be able to do good things with my life, and I want to be able to look back and say "I helped someone be a better person. I helped to make a difference, providing a positive experience for someone who needed a friend." I want to be able to do that in any way I can. I want to help improve the quality of life for as many people as I can manage to influence. Whether its through writing, counseling, listening, voting, writing to senators and congressmen, etc.

I suppose what I'm feeling here is a bit confused, but I want to turn that confusion into a positive energy force and ride the wave for as long as I can manage. Is that wrong of me? To want to entertain and assist, to help and comfort, to make a difference in my local and national community.

And of course there is some recognition to be had in there somewhere. And who isn't after a little piece of "fame?" But that is not my motivation for getting into this thread of ideas, for wanting to go to school again and become something better than I am now, to widen my possibilities for my future (and the future of others). And my desire to return to school is not solely based in the fact that I'm fresh from my undergraduate career and I'm missing the routine and the atmosphere (it is true, I am, but so what? I have a desire for more *education,* more **knowledge?** Ha).

I remember what my grandfather was like: He would talk to anyone and everyone that he could get to listen to him. Sure he distracted people and made them late for their original plans, or came off as the crazy old man with one eye that wouldn't shut up--but who cares? He made people laugh. He made people blush (especially me). He so enjoyed talking to people at random, people he didn't know and would never see again. For him, it wasn't about making a lifelong friend, or even remembering their name the next day (he did remember most times, but sometimes he'd forget). For Grandpa, it was about sharing an experience. Making a frowny-faced person smile a little at the hotel's continental breakfast. And no one could resist his hefty laugh.

I guess the point I'm driving at is that ultimately, I want to be like him. I want to be as congenial and friendly and open as he was. I want to love people and animals and the world they way that he loved the color of the trees in the fall, how he loved taking me to the lake to feed the geese bits of bread, how he longed for the road trips in summer and fishing just to find the fish that lived in the lake. That is the kind of person I want to be, and I think that a new path is the way to achieve that. Specifically, a path towards helping others, talking to them, and making them laugh. And at the end of the road, as I take my last breath, I want to know that I loved as much as I could. I want to wallow in the feeling that I gave love with every ounce of my being. I want to know that love that I gave will live on in someone else.

So I suppose that over the course of this post, I have determined what I want to do, and now I know where to begin. More thought will be put into this topic, and hopefully I will decide on the specific degree that will best suit what it is that I want to do with my future, to get me on the path to greater love.

#40--Out of "IT"

IT.

The most important thing that could possibly exist.

And I've run out.

That's all there is to (it).

Today was an adventurous day. It rained. I did something I've never done before (yes, that's all you get to know). I may or may not do it again in the future. I had a meeting. Went to dinner with my hubby and saw Rango (awesome!) after foods.

Home now, and feeling in a rut. Or a trench. Or maybe I'm just outside of the whole thing. Not necessarily feeling invisible, just awkward. If that makes sense.

I've not had much opportunity lately, for anything. Or at least it feels that way. Maybe I'm just not getting out enough. But that's hard to do when you're trying not to buy a tankful of gas every three days. And at the outrageous price of nearly 3 1/2 per gallon, its not worth (it). IT is much better to stay at home. Where IT is safe, and not awkward.

You probably don't have any idea what I'm talking about, and that's okay; I don't know what I'm talking about either.

So much is different today than from yesterday. IT is crazy to think about. Specific examples, while they could be given, are not necessarily applicable to YOU. I'm sure you can think of your own examples.

I'm feeling a lot of things lately. Frustrated. But who isn't? IT will be spring soon, so people will be hiring. For real jobs. I'm thinking a lot of things lately too. Like something that Alex said: You can't always be waiting on (living for) the next step. You have to live for the present situation. (This is not an exact quote, but a paraphrase, so forgive me if I am incorrect in my phrasing here.) But the whole idea makes sense. There is a significant amount of "dwelling on the past" that one can do before exhausting themselves or becoming totally depressed. But the pendulum swings the other way too, and one can become so obsessed with what might happen or what they want to happen in their future or life that they become sullen, aggravated when they do not achieve the goals they had in mind. IT is different from perseverance and determination, willingness and ability. IT is the mere *thought* that does all the slaying.

Interesting isn't IT?

Knowledge and use of thought are all powerful beings which we take for granted. And I'm sure that some think of them as a curse in a sense, bestowed upon mankind when Eve plucked the apple from the tree. But the self-awareness and thought processes we possess separate us from other beings, and certainly our extended emotional depth is configured in there somewhere as well.

That is an old argument that I do not currently wish to pursue. IT just always comes up.

Finding one's path through life is a daunting challenge, since that every day that one lives is entirely different from the one before. IT can be hard to maintain a stable level of self-respect, self-knowingness from day to day, or year to year. You age and grow, learn, lead, follow, trip, screw up, apologize (or not), and the next day you are different. Changed.

So as the song goes: "the only thing that stays the same is, everything changes, everything cha-ee-anges." (lol).

You can always count on IT.

IT will always be there for you. IT will never abandon you, or judge you or ask you to be different. IT will never throw you a curve ball. IT is always fair. IT is unbiased and spreads unconditional love to all.

If you think you are not affected by IT, think again. IT has you in IT's clutches. You will never escape.

So you might as well make friends with IT now, before you waste your life trying to be the same as you ever were.

#39--Year of the Rabbit

So today, I had a meeting with my boss, who, it turns out, is totally cool with the idea of me going to China! I can still work for him while I'm overseas making more money, and get double experience! I know that I will more than likely be extremely busy, but I am going to have sooo much fun and I'll get to take the hubby with me!

Back to my original train of thought: I had a meeting today with my boss and I decided to wear my rabbit shirt, which I got as a present from my youngest sister a couple of Christmases ago. After my meeting ended I met my dear hubby for lunch at Panda Express, where a sticker on the glass door informed me that 2011 is the year of the Rabbit. (For those of you who don't know, I was born in the year of the Rabbit, so this was kind of exciting to me). I also got a really good fortune which I cannot immediately remember (but it's upstairs on my dresser!).

So considering all my good fortune lately, I'm going to say that it is due to this being MY YEAR: The Year of the Rabbit. At the same time it sounds like a great story title. And a quick search results in not a whole lot under that or similar titles (mostly it is relating to the Chinese zodiac).

I also find it interesting that this opportunity for me to go overseas and teach in China coincides with it being a year represented by the same animal I was born under.

All of this has led me to some impromptu research on the Chinese zodiac.

http://www.chinesezodiac.com/

The Rabbit symbolizes creativity, compassion, and sensitivity. They are friendly, outgoing and prefer the company of others. They also prefer to avoid conflict.

Rabbits believe strongly in friends and family and lacking such bonds can lead to emotional issues.

(There was a bit about not liking competitive situations, and for me at least, I would probably have to say that is not entirely true--I can be very competitive during card and board games).

Rabbits are also classy, sophisticated, expressive, well-mannered and stylish; enjoy learning about cultural issues and people from other countries (How appropriate--and true!), are articulate and good communicators, and friends and peers seek out their advice. Its also why Rabbits make excellent diplomats and politicians. Some other good careers for Rabbits include: writer (awesome!), publisher (yes!), actor, fashion designer, therapist, doctor, administrator, public relations, and teacher (woo!).

I might mention now that I've had interests in the other areas listed above: I am very intrigued by fashion, wanted to be an actress when I was little (and would often practice for the mirror and make so much noise that my mother would tell me to SHUSH!), I did contemplate going into the health field while I was in school with my main interest being in Psychology, I am very good at public relations, perform administrative tasks very well, and now, I will be teaching English in China! This is almost too cool to believe.

Apparently there are five elements that influence the Chinese zodiac signs, and those elements are Earth, Fire, Water, Wood, and Metal.

I was born in 1987, so that makes me a Fire Rabbit, which possesses the additional traits: "Fire adds spark to the Rabbit's personality and all that Fire Rabbits do. Fire compels Rabbits to seek new adventures. Prone to tantrums, Fire Rabbits prefer to avoid conflict."
I don't know about the tantrums part, but I'm sure my mom might have something different to say about that. ;-)

I feel that most of the information provided on this site (noted above) is accurate for myself, though I do not invest a lot of effort into heavily following any horoscope-type thing, though it is interesting to see how these things can be found in the people they are said to apply to.

I find it quite interesting to read about the other signs as well. It is not terribly difficult to deduce which sign is yours, or what element applies to your sign.

This is another compelling aspect of Chinese culture, and I have many more to discover before I am going on the adventure to China later this year.

There is so much to learn!

***Computer! Commence Absorption of Chinese Culture Sequence!***

Good careers for Rabbits include: